We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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