I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
