Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
