Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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