uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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