Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
