Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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