Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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