my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
literally had 100 drinks last night.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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