Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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