"it" just moved
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
