So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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