No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
