You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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