why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
