don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
