Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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