The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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