the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
