the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
This show inspires me to have sex in space
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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