Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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