She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
