I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
