I think I am morally bankrupt
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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