Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Randomize