dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Do vagina's smell?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
