Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
