My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
