It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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