we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Randomize
