how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
