We won't sleep together?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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