is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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