its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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