You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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