if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
