Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
