Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
