is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
