so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
