I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
