I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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