Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
