New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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