recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
