oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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