You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize