I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize