That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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