Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
