Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
