By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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