You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
