Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize