ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
