Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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