I forgot how hot balto sounded
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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