she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
