Where are you?
In a non slutty way
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize