i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
