Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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